Building Community and Mutual Support for Facilitators

Part of being an Empathy Circle facilitator is to be part of a community and have mutual support from other facilitators so you can support each other when you host Empathy Circles, Cafes, and other projects. As a facilitator, it is important to have as much personal support as possible. By support, we mean where you can share and be empathically heard, feel a connection, get assistance, have a sense of community, have questions answered etc. because it can feel stressful and overwhelming to facilitate Empathy Circles. 

This is especially true when we move into conflict resolution which can feel quite stressful and challenging. When facilitating circles with people who are dealing with deep emotional issues like alienation, depression, grief, trauma, anger, mental illness, dysfunction, addiction, etc. We need to support each other in facilitation.

Your Empathy Buddy Call: Facilitator Community and Mutual Support 

Part of being an Empathy Circle facilitator is to be part of a community and to have mutual support with other facilitators. You can support each other when you host Empathy Circles, Cafes, and other projects. As a facilitator, it is important to have as much personal support as possible.

Description of a Buddy Call

One of the assignments in the training is to take part in an Empathy Buddy call with a different person in the training each week.  Each week you will receive an email with your Empathy Buddy. You will email each other to arrange a time for the call.  The scheduling can be a challenge with finding a time that works.  Different time zones also can complicate connection.  

Tips for Scheduling Your Empathy Buddy Call

The scheduling can be a challenge with finding a time that works.  Different time zones also can complicate connection. 

• Each week we will pair you with a different participant in your cohort. 

• Between now and the next session, connect with that person. Have a 30-minute mutual support call on Zoom or Skype, etc.  Feel free to do it longer if you have the time and inclination.

• If schedules make it difficult for you to connect, just do your best.  You may not be able to connect every week due to scheduling conflict. 

More Tips for Scheduling

• Be proactive and contact each other early. Time zones can be a challenge so give yourself time to arrange the call.

• In your initial email to your Buddy, include your time zone and your availability. 

• Buddy, for efficiency and courtesy, when you reply include your time zone.

• In the initial email, include at the top of the email:

  • • "Hi [Buddy], I’m available 10 am – 2 pm ET on Tuesday thru Friday. We can meet by Zoom on my Zoom account or by phone. Do you have a preference?"

    • In the reply email: "I am available on Wed at Noon ET. Zoom sounds great! I can do a 30-minute call OR I have up to an hour for the call."

    • Confirmation email: "Confirmed. Talk to you on Wed at noon ET. Here is the Zoom link. I’ll have 30-40 minutes for the call."

• Take the opportunity to use the Empathy Method in your email if you are experiencing any challenges or need clarification. Using the Empathy Method may help resolve any challenges.

• Remain open to the Empathy Method.  

  • • “I am going to reflect what you wrote, so that I understand.”

    • You can also take the opportunity to clarify misunderstandings in your empathy call. Indicating that in the email may be helpful.

• Remain proactive and inform a trainer if you are unable to schedule with your appointed Buddy.

  • • A trainer will assist under any circumstances. 

    • For example, they will either schedule a Buddy Call directly with you or help to assign you another Buddy.  

    • In the event that any conflict arises, there is the opportunity to apply a Mediation Empathy Circle that may assist when parties are open to it.

How to Conduct Your Empathy Buddy Call

• Divide the time equally whether you are speaking for 30 minutes or an hour.

• Person 1 gets 15 minutes to talk about their experience in the training while Person 2 empathically listens by reflecting back to the speaker what s/he is saying. 

• Or you can take 5-minute turns until your allotted time is over. 

• Then switch roles and Person 2 talks for the allotted time and Person 1 empathically listens.

• Allow time to debrief your call.

• Share your experience of the Empathy Call at the next session.

What to Talk About? Suggested Topics Include: What is your experience of the training to date? What are your concerns, anxieties, fears or expectations? Or just talk about what is on your mind.

Buddy Calls Offer Many Forms of Support to Grow a Culture of Empathy

Personal Support 

We all need support in our lives. This helps ground us, helps with thinking more clearly, helps with releasing frustrations etc.  The calls can be structured in a way that works for everyone.

• • • Two facilitators meet for an hour, each person get 30 minutes to share and get empathically heard.

    • Two facilitators meet for an hour, and one facilitator gets heard for the full hour. Then in the next meeting, the other facilitator gets heard for an hour.

    • What is your idea of what would best support you?

Pre-Circle Support
Facilitation can be stressful. You can have a pre circle or post circle to be empathically heard.  You share concerns you may have, which can be grounding. You get a bit of an empathy bath.  When we set up the Empathy Tent out in public, for example, we start with the tent team having an Empathy Circle for a quick check in and grounding.

Co-Facilitation Support

You may want to co-facilitate with another facilitator. This can take off some of the pressure of having all the responsibility for the circle. It's helpful to have a pool of facilitators you can reach out to that may co-facilitate a circle with you.  We have a community of facilitators ready to support you. You will also make contacts in the Empathy Training.

Post-Circle Support

After an Empathy Circle, Empathy Cafe, Empathy Tent or Restorative Empathy Circle, where there are multiple breakout circles with facilitators in each one, the facilitators meet to debrief the call or event. This provides an opportunity to share experiences, challenges, successes, learnings and ask questions.

Empathy Tent Listening to the Public

This is also good practice to prepare to do public listening in the Empathy Tent. That is were we offer 10+ minutes of free listening to people who come by the Empathy Tent.

Facebook Empathy Circle Facilitator Support Group

This is a private Facebook Group for individuals that are in the facilitator training or have completed the training. Click on the link to join the group.

Links You May Find Useful

TimeBuddy.com Webpage and App for matching different time zones.

When2Meet.com Quick scheduler. One person creates the schedule of times they have available. They send the link to their buddy and the buddy also adds their available times and can quickly find a time that works for both. Do this right after you get the empathy buddy list. 

Tutorial: When2Meet Tutorial Video .