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I've been thinking I have been starting to call this this is the best empathy training out there. To give it a context, this is the best first step, gateway and foundational practice that I know of. I've been doing, you know, working on this topic of empathy for 14 years now. Those books behind me are all books on empathy. I've interviewed almost every one of those authors, there's about 300 interviews. I've really delved into empathy pretty intensely. I find this practice you know, based on the work of Carl Rogers, empathic listening, bringing it into a mutual empathic listening is really the first step, the most effective that I've found.
I could go through all the reasons why I think it is the best. Somebody else mentioned that you're doing empathy, you're practicing empathy, versus just didactic. Didactic is helpful, but just like exercise. You learn about exercise that's good, that's helpful, but it's the doing of it that's so important. And this is will be helpful in all the other learnings, practices that you do for learning and deepening empathy practices, like, person centered approach, NVC, motivational interviewing, mediation, human centered design, this basic skill is really foundational.
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I've been working on this topic of nurturing
more empathy in the world for 14 years now.
From my experience, this is the best first step,
gateway and foundational empathy building
practice that I know of.
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This video has all the 12.C participants sharing their feedback and testimonials about the training in one video. See individual testimonials with transcripts below.
Aljazi Al-Mubarak
What I liked about the training, I would say, first of all the generosity of everyone who's participating in the training, I do think that you guys are volunteering your time for spreading empathic culture. I think that's really great. And that's really generous for you guys to do. Especially that. I do believe of the power of communication. I think Bill has touched on that today, from his experience. During my study, from my background, I'm having to do some experience, or reflective papers, I've experienced that too. And so that how lack of communication can escalate conflict very easily. So, yeah, thank you guys.
― Aljazi Al Mubarak
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You guys are volunteering your time for
spreading empathic culture.
I think that's really great.
― Aljazi Al-Mubarak
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I think we're all aware that we are facing large challenges and problems to our very existence as a species. And if we're going to overcome them, we're going to have to cooperate. And so I really appreciate each one of you, when you look back, if you could go forward 50, 100 years, and if we survive, it's because people are going to be dialoguing like this. Each one of you has created a mini culture of empathy in your heart, and shared it with other ones. And this is the beginning of turning this ship around.
So well my next steps, and I'll put that are, you know, to get empathy into schools because I think this is the kids who grew up in learn these this technique can benefit themselves and you know, and our culture as a whole.
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Each one of you has created a mini culture of empathy
in your heart, and shared it with other ones.
― Bill Filler
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So much that's been shared already. I mean, I resonate with so much that has been shared, you know, Tiffany, speaking about people showing up every week, and, you know, feeling a sense of community and reliability and dependability in terms of holding space together. And I think that was really important too. Yeah, just, you know, meeting new people cultivating perhaps deeper relationships. The things that come up in these empathy circles for discussion are not superficial, the empathy circles tend to flush up more enriching, discussions about our humanity and what's going on with us. And I believe that cultivates a lot, a lot, a greater connection, which is, I believe, what the world needs more of. Meeting people from all over the world, that's a cool thing, too. I love it. How, lovely that is.
Then what Martina shared about authenticity, and I Martine, I've actually noticed your shift, actually, when you're talking about more of you, like more of your authentic self is showing up more unabashedly right and more easily. I experienced that in you, you know, I've, I've seen that shift in you. I think that's awesome, that that's what this can do. Right? It allows us to have an experience of ourselves that is deeper, more authentic, more connected. And so I love the way it's structured as well. I really appreciate the challenges. These challenges are good to have, right? Because you never know, like, it's good to be prepared for possible challenges. I just want to participate as much as I can, you know, in any way I can to keep involved to keep being part of this in any way I can. So that's where I'm at
I really like to sort of connect more with this community, I mean, so many contacts, so many emails, so many possibilities with regards to even building with relationships within this community. And right now, I feel like that's what I need to do is keep cultivating, you know, this connection with the community. And I'm not really ready to cultivate my own empathy circle, because of the context of where I am in my life. But I definitely want to continue forging a sense of belonging in this community and building relationships within it. And from their offering, offering at some point, offering it in terms of an empathy circle that I would be facilitating. So that's like where I'm at right now.
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The things that come up in these empathy circles
for discussion are not superficial, the Empathy Circles
tend to flush up more enriching, discussions about
our humanity and what's going on with us.
― Francesca Castellano
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Tiffany said about the commitment, this is quite a commitment five Saturdays in a row for two and a half hours. And so I appreciate everybody making that. And I love what Francesca said about how empathy really deepens the connections and we share from a deep place that's been very rewarding. And also from myself, you know, to see what comes up from me. So that's interesting, you know, things that I didn't know I was thinking, or feeling. And how I'm bringing this out into the world, first of all, I'm going to keep coming every Saturday because I love it. I can't imagine my life without it now. And secondly, I'm a volunteer for the Peace Alliance. So I'm bringing it to the Peace Alliance to do one night a month to start with. So I'm very excited about doing that. So thank you all.
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I love what Francesca said about how empathy
really deepens the connections
and we share from a deep place
that's been very rewarding.
― Kathy L Kidd
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Also to a greater focus that that came out of it. For me in reference to how do I expand further with this? How do I bring into my organization? How do I bring into the people in reference to the ability to listen, and also to speak in a way that you know that you're being heard? I think it's powerful. You know, everyone could benefit from I think, you know, like I would have said before we're rushing through life so much that we're missing the final points. Sometimes that too, just being present.
I appreciate all my buddy conversations I have. I'm looking forward to go further. I probably try to repeat more, learn more, again, a society or group that I work with individuals. Everyone can benefit from this. And I just thank you all.
One of my goals is to go further with in deepening the learning to facilitate more strongly and be comfortable with the flow of it. Also, to implement more an organizational type setting. I think is definitely can be used, and can enhance anyone coming into organizations the ability to listen, and to know that you're being heard on both parts, that management power, that facilitation of that piece, I think, is like someone mentioned earlier, how, you know, you lose some of the employees, because of the power struggle that happened with an organization, because they're not listening or speaking, clear enough to be heard. I'm definitely looking forward to go further and deeper with this, and how to move forward. I think, I spoke about a PhD. And I love that topic. It's very interesting, you know, as I look on my next level of understanding and trauma, as Kathy was speaking about, as well for the population, cuz everyone, as the season that we're in, as Bill was saying, it's coming out differently and change it, it needs to be more supports for them.
― Kevin Patterson
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I appreciate all my buddy conversations I have.
I'm looking forward to go further.
― Kevin Patterson
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Linda Bass
When I started this, I was thinking about it in terms of me being a better listener, when I'm conducting mediations. It has, this training has helped. It's also helped me to focus on some things about myself. So it's been a win win situation, for me. I am interested in going a little further. So I will be on Monday, I guess as a trainee. it's just, it's really good. And one one thing, the buddy calls, I get to meet people from other places. And that's been really great.
I have been talking to God asking Him to show me what my purpose is what I should be doing, how I can have some type of impact and not just be sitting here letting life go by. And I believe part of this training, because I tripped up on this training, it's just I was looking for something else. And I, like Alice in Wonderland, I fell into the hole. So I guess this is part of it. And so whatever I can do in the community just to give back, I want to use this, it will be used
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When I started this, I was thinking about it
in terms of me being a better listener,
when I'm conducting mediations.
It has, this training has helped.
― Linda Bass
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I had a lot of benefits. I think the whole idea of this, the fact that you know that this is like a volunteer run thing, and people are just doing this, because they're so passionate about it, I find that extremely inspiring. So that just that whole idea to be immersed in something like this is, is incredible. I liked everything kind of like what right, you said, I like the Buddy Call and the challenges and how everything was structured, and the feedback forms, and it was just very well organized.
One of the main things was, I learned how to express myself more and to be more in touch with my true self. And a lot of walls came down that just really allowed me to be me more. And also to really get the essence of what people instead of listening to the words, just really feeling them and appreciating people more. And one more big thing was I kind of went into this thinking, Oh, this is going to help people deal with their problems. And, and yes, that is something but this whole joy thing just came up. For me. And it just seems extremely, extremely profound way to grow your joy, when you share with others and hear other people's joy is it seems like a tremendous practice. So I'm really looking forward to starting this new Circle project that I'm going to be doing.
, I think a lot of people have been kind of what Stephen was saying, you know, in their own little world. And I do feel like this really does. It's like a whole new animal, this practice breaking down some walls and just allowing some incredibly deep connections and just getting to know yourself and, and so I'm really looking forward to diving more into it, I feel like it could just be this is the start of something, you could just keep going and going.
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I had a lot of benefits. I think the whole idea
of this, is like a volunteer run thing,
and people are just doing this,
because they're so passionate about it,
I find that extremely inspiring.
― Martina Dittmar
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My intention is to continue on in the community and to contribute in as many ways as I possibly can. Also to continue the trauma like sensitive. This kind of trauma sensitive work that's emerging. And my original like reasons for kind of coming into the movement was around like this, like piece around suicide awareness. So I feel that through something there that wants to merge. I'm just trying to send so you know, what's needed and what fits and then just Yeah, I tried to follow that. And I really, I really was touched by Linda what Linda chair there by just like yeah, just kind of trying to sense into what, what's called for what's needed and to try to step up to that.
― Michelle Clarke
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My intention is to continue on in the
community and to contribute in as
many ways as I possibly can.
― Michelle Clarke
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What I liked about training. First of all, I'm super grateful for all your volunteering time. I found a lot of commonalities with Shannon's words. I learned a lot in this skills that were presented to all of us, as the weeks went on. I like the structure. I like feedback or like the body calls and most important I like the practice.
The benefits of the training. To me were like like, first of all, I met great people, I think I met almost everybody over here excepts maybe two that are on screen. I learned about everybody's great experiences. And they taught me indirectly about about their experiences and impacted me. I practice the reflecting and the listening skills, something I need to work on. So thank you for the opportunity and to close on that. I'm liking see where I can maybe contribute more, you know, I'm giving back to this amazing community. So thank you. So I believe in crawl, walk, run. So the crawling for me is keep exercising and authentic, listening and effective back was being sent exactly how we preach.
Another thing is Bill gave me a few ideas to my kindergarten and grade one kids. So empathetic listening for students, when I start practicing that, also similar to a lot of you would like to join the corporate trainings and the cafes, and contribute back over there. And for whoever sends us out, you know, their own, for whoever is facilitating their own circles I'm more than happy if I have, you know, the time and schedules online to contribute to that, every part of your experience,
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I like the structure. I like feedback. I like
the body calls and most important
I like the practice.
― Raed Hamzeh
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Everybody who has spoken so far, and over the weeks, you awaken things in me that I didn't know were, there. So I can say, Amen to what's been said before. I'll hit the the idea of the generosity of the trainers and making this available. I'm going to sign up for my, I'll be at my third cohort in a couple of weeks. And I expect that it'll be as valuable as the first two, there's a kind of eternal time that I get into listening to the essence of other other folks. It just, it's just not not ever bad to do that. In, real life. When as a as a political race in Lawrence, and it's, and it's so troubling, because people just glance off of each other nothing lands.
So I take with me a commitment to help people to stand still. And listen, you know, Stop, look, listen. And that's been strengthened in me.
I think that the risk of giving you an oversized ego, Edwin, I just want to say I really appreciate your being, I think what you said was unabashed, but there have been certain genius moments. I think Marshall enhance dialectical behavior therapy, tick, not Hans engaged Buddhism. And this is has genius. to it, it's so timely. So where to go forward, I'm going to go slowly, I'm going to keep talking to my clinician friend, I'm going to I have a number of irons in the in the fire. And I'm going to take the next cohort and hopefully be a better participatory trainee. This is really the cat's meow right now. I think in our, in our larger society, whether that society knows it or not, we're coming for you.
― Ralph Galen
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Everybody who has spoken so far, and
over the weeks, you awaken things in
me that I didn't know were, there.
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And that's one of the things that I love about the empathy circles is the openness and the support I find here. Anytime I come here with ideas with, with anything, there is always a space that's being held for me. And I'm deeply, deeply grateful for that opportunity. Like I was telling in the group, this week, this cohort, being helping train this cohort was especially important for me, because it had taught me some things about myself and how to kind of overcome them as well. So I found a problem, which I didn't know was there. And I also found a solution to it, thanks to this cohort. So I'm deeply grateful for that as well.
I've been doing empathy circles every alternate Tuesday. But again, it was just, especially when the pandemic got really worse, it was just my way of kind of bringing together people and just giving them a space where they can come feel safe, and just to speak about whatever they want. And empathy buddy calls, it was all people like I do it with three or four others. And all of them, I made them through empathy, buddy calls, right. And so and that's been going on, in fact, I think the next one will be the 12th, or the 13th. So it's going really well.
I'd be you know, I'd continue to be a part of the design team calls on Wednesdays with Edwin, it's a call where we just discuss things that are just ways to kind of, you know, get this process and everything about everything circles as, as best as we possibly can get. And so we we take up different projects, and we discuss them and you know, a lot of ideas. So that's something that we're looking forward to do.
My work is all about empathy. So my organization, the university, so it's, I usually go very, very deep into empathy and very long sort of forces. But like Edwin was saying, I think this is the perfect intro right? There, I can get people to, you know, see what empathy is, without really even speaking, I can just show them what it is just just by doing a circle. This is the perfect sort of intro for people who would later want to go very deep into empathy.
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And that's one of the things that I love
about the Empathy Circles is the
openness and the support
I find here.
― Rasha Kutty
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I love this, I keep coming back to it. And I think one of the things I really appreciate is the learn by doing. I have been an academic so much in my life, that this is really refreshing. And I love how because of that I feel I can connect with more different people. And in terms of the future, my Spanish language class is back on track that I got an email they, they do want to do it and looking at times, and I'm excited to be working with that.
And within this community, I don't want to forget to say that I am interested and have been encouraged by Edwin to work on community building. And one of the ways that we can do community building is remember to ask each other to participate in our practice empathy circles. And more than practice, you know, we might want co-facilitators, like one person keeps a time and the other one does the other stuff. So please remember that we are all a resource to each other. And that you can there's a the email list is available. So you can we can make contact and continue working together and build immunity and if you have any other ideas I'm very interested in, in hearing them.
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I love this, I keep coming back to it. I think one
of the things I really appreciate is
the learn by doing.
― Selene Aitken
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Stephen Landau
I don't know if this is the best training. I think that the way it's set up is really, really smart, and really effective. It's simple and direct, and thorough and five sessions for I mean, it's really clear about what its direct goals are and just very systematic. I've appreciated that. I would participate on Monday if I had it available, because that would be a really good thing for me. So I think what I'll do is come on Saturdays again at this hour, and help how I can and learn what I can.
I have a very small dream, actually, it seems big to me. But relatively speaking, it's small. And that is just to continue working my way out of tremendous amount of personal isolation that I've let myself fall into over the last many years. And I think that the practice of empathy is a really good good way to do that, or will have a role to play. if I just organized an empathy circle among my acquaintances, that would be awesome. If I can pull myself out of my little rut and do that.
― Stephen Landau
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I think that the way it's set up is really, really smart, and
really effective. It's simple and direct, and thorough.
It's really clear about what its direct goals are
and just very systematic.
― Stephen Landau
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One of the things I appreciate about this circle is how so many people stuck with it. I don't think we give enough credit to the people who've been here for the five or six weeks that we did it. You know, I understand some people are trainers. But you did not have to be here. And it's still very comforting to come every Saturday and see the same people as opposed to, "oh, I got bored. I just stopped coming." You know, it's a disconnect when that happens. And if you're building culture, and people don't show up, then you're not really building the way you thought you were. So just appreciation for everyone who showed up every Saturday.
That is what we'll be doing next and the empathy circle and building a culture. Instead of making it so intentional, which is what I said in our small groups, I'm just going to try to practice it all the time. That way, it'll become more natural to me. And that way, without any forethought, people can feel like I've empathically listened to them without having to necessarily be on a zoom call and that being the goal of a meeting, which is really interesting. like that all the time, and then we'll build from there.
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One of the things I appreciate about this circle is
how so many people stuck with it.
― Tiffany Mitchell
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